I’ve always been a collector at heart. Mementos from holidays, toy animals, figurines, dolls and perhaps most prominently, soft toys. Trips to shopping centres would often involve a visit to Build a Bear to bring yet another Kennel Pal pup to life, and each holiday would provide the opportunity to pick out a new friend for the flight back home. Many of these stuffed animals have stayed with me into adulthood, with many others joining the pack along the way too. I’d even go so far as saying my current collection of soft toys is now larger than my childhood one.
Going back to younger Sarah, and aside from the purchase of a DSLR camera, my first pay-check at 18 was used on a plush set of Lady & the Tramp. Which subsequently kickstarted a collection of Disney toys at quite an obsessive rate. Coinciding with a time I had little-to-no real life friends, social anxiety affecting every aspect of my life, and existential dread of who do I want to become – I found comfort and escapism in my collection. Not long after, I created an Instagram page dedicated solely to Disney; from this I connected with likeminded individuals, made online friends, and even built up quite the following. It honestly was my safest space.
But what followed was the comparisons, the perfectionisms, and the constant overwhelming notion of keeping up. Due to the amount of stuff I had I couldn’t fit everything on display; yet the ones on display didn’t look perfect enough in terms of size, colour, series.. you name it, I’d find a way in which they didn’t line up properly. Being a completist came next. If I were to own something for one of my favourite characters, I’d have to own the same for them all. If I were to own one item in a series, I was compelled to have the whole set. And soon it wasn’t just teddies but also larger expenses like limited edition doll sets. The constant upkeep of new drops, refreshing websites each morning, and trying to fit even more stuff into my collection was just exhausting.
Having overcome some of my compulsions over the years, I’m now in a much healthier mindset about collecting. Even to the extent I’d now consider some collections ‘complete’. I’ve learnt to overcome the need to have a limited edition Elsa doll in EVERY dress variation; or a Build a Bear for EVERY comfort character representation; or a Charlie Bear for EVERY namesake. I now simply have a select few items that form my own personal story, and not ones only to impress on social media. My curated collection is one I’m pretty proud of. Each item now tells a story, or reminds me of an event or holiday – and these are the pieces which hold the most sentiment and bring the most joy.
So, as a way to rise against the “you’re too old for teddies, they’re intended for children” mindset some people hold, and the judgement from others for “not acting my age”, and perhaps most importantly to remind myself that my collection is worthy because it makes me happy, I want to share some of these pieces with you. Ranging from soft toys and dolls, to souvenirs picked up from my travels – there’ll be a little bit of everything!
Leave a Reply